Monday, January 24, 2011

Finding Happy

I know I promised that I would blog all the time, but things changed RAPIDLY over the last few months...things that were bigger than blogging in the middle of it all.

First, I moved out of the compound with forty two cats, three kangaroos, two giraffes, six dogs and a wildebeest and into a condo with my lovely friends who had an extra room and the willingness to put up with me while I went through the divorce from Mr. Tantrum. They have been amazing at supporting me and my wild schedule, and are so much fun.

Bacon has adjusted somewhat to the new arrangement. He is still at the compound in his bedroom with all of his things, and at his school. I have him three days a week, two after school and on Sunday. This helps keep the much needed AUTISM routine and prevents complete and utter breakdown. It is weird being at the compound on the days that I have him during the week...but it is what is easiest for Bacon, and that is all I care about right now.

I am working on getting a third job, because hello...I cannot sit still, and have lots of bills to pay. I am trying to find an apartment closer into the city avoiding the whole 50 mile a day commute back and forth to the sticks. Eventually the goal is to have a condo in the city...and maybe have Bacon come live with me. (If he wants to....he's still a little upset that I left Mr. T, and it is going to take some time for him to fully understand that.)

I have also found myself and happiness. I found that despite being scared shit less when I left, the freedom that came with happiness allowed me to realize what I really want in my life. That the thing that was holding me back in my marriage was not in fact my ex husband, it was me. I realize that by trying to hold things together in an effort to appear perfect and beautiful and wonderful I was actually hurting myself. Admitting that I wasn't happy, and walking away was the best thing for all of us.

This new journey is amazing, and wonderful, and I can't wait to share it with all of you.

5 comments:

Crazy Sister said...

That sounds rough. And you had a birthday, too! I hope that was a good day in the middle of the chaos.

Givinya De Elba said...

Great to hear from you again! Hope things do work out with the third job, and that Bacon gets used to the new arrangement. All the best to you and Mr T as you find a new normal for your family! Love from Australia.

The Irishman said...

I'm glad you are beginning to find what is best for you, love. Take care, and when next I'm in the PDX I need to stop by for a mani from you.

Laurie of the Seven Stories said...

Oh my God Faith, we have more in common than ever. Hope you will visit my new blog, I can't be serious. Maybe we can co-ordinate efforts once again, this time with a greater degree of success, since we seem to be in the same place. Love you. Laurie

Sarah Lynn Cutting said...

Wow! You have a lot going on. I sure hope that you are still finding your happiness in spite of (or maybe because of) the chaos=^) Follow your bliss and everything will fall in place just as it should. Hope to hear from you soon~