Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Tantrums Galore

This weekend was all about "family fun" for the three of us Tantrums. We went to the Oregon Coast on Sunday and climbed to the top of a lighthouse, visited an aquarium, walked on the beach and ate seafood. It was a nice day and despite a few outbursts from Bacon it really was great.

Monday however was something straight out of a horror film.

We took Bacon to see Despicable Me at the theatre and he sat through the whole thing. (Usually movies in the theatre result in 200 trips to the men's room.) As we left things got ugly. He screamed that he wanted to stay at the theatre and that we were mean. We got him in the car and it got worse, he jumped over the seat and started punching and screaming and clawing at Mr. Tantrum. Snot was flying, tears were flowing and he just kept at it. After taking away TV, video games, computer games and summer camp he still kept going. I finally whipped out my phone and started videoing the antics and he stopped.

Mr. Tantrum and I were exhausted, and feeling defeated. We aren't sure what to do or how to make this stop. He behaves badly and then immediately says he's sorry only to turn around and do it all again 2 minutes later. We explained what saying your sorry means, but he still doesn't get it.

I'm still exhausted and ripping out my hair trying to figure out just what to do and how to handle this. We have tried homeopathy, and clearly that is only helping his bathroom accidents, and after taking an online quiz it looks like he may also have Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Do we medicate for that? Do we try to use a psychotherapist? Do we just start drinking heavily and let him destroy the house and everything around him?

I don't know what to do. So today I am asking for your suggestions, help and what has worked for you. I am going to call and see if we can get in with his less than helpful pediatrician for some help too...But right now if I have to deal with one more of these fits, I may just end up in the nut house myself. If only for some peace and quiet.


Crazy Sister said...

Wow, that's rough. You'd think after 6 years of teaching him behaviour and consequences that he'd understand a bit better! I think you're great parents who are doing everything right.

The only thing I could think of doing in that situation would be shutting him in the car by himself and let him have his melt down. I know he could hurt himself or bust the car, though... I don't suppose you could pop him in the trunk...

One thing I DON'T recommend is sitting him on the trunk to have a talk to him about his behaviour. They can just stand up and start running over the roof of the car from front to back, over and over again, just out of reach. You get small footprints all over the windscreen and put on one heck of a show for passing drivers.

mery said...

i have a 5yr old boy w/asperger's too. the teachers at his school told us that they were using the '1-2-3 magic'method with him. they let me borrow the book and the first time i tried to implement it things got worse! the tantrum escalated and i felt defeated. part of the 1-2-3 magic is having them take time off in their room and he's a big boy so it was really difficult for me to try to carry him upstairs. then for some brake, i don't remember but husband was here for a whole week. he read the book too and he started implementing it (he's strong to carry the boy) and after 3 or 4 days of things getting uglier when he needed to be carry upstairs he started going voluntarily and he'd just ask to please let the door open and let him know when he could come out. after that he usually doesn't let it go past counting 1 or 2. he tried to test me if i would do it w/out husband's help and i did, i almost broke my back in the process of carrying a 70lb child up the stairs but i did it so he knows i mean business. there's been a couple of times when he goes to his room and he's so angry he starts trashing it but when is time for him to come out he knows he has to clean it up. i'm sure you can find the book at your local library and i know there's also a dvd. it's worth a try, no? good luck and i hoped this helped a bit.

Givinya De Elba said...

Oh my dear, that sounds tough. I wouldn't know where to start, except I wonder if there would be a more-helpful paediatrician in your area? I know he/she wouldn't have had the experience with Bacon, but sometimes a fresh mind on a problem can really help.

Here in Australia a paediatrician would be a great place to start, I'm just assuming they serve a similar function on the US, even if they don't have the extra 'a' in their names.

Mrs. Tantrum said...

Update: I called the peditrician and we have a referral to a specialist. On the 2nd Mr. Tantrum and I meet with the doctor then Bacon gets to go in for an evaluation after that. I am excited about it because I am hoping they can help us get it all squared away!!