Thursday, May 7, 2009

Like a Trailer in a Tornado Park

So this is going to be the last "public" post for a while. There is a lot going down here at the Tantrum house, and well if I keep this public the whole world will send me to Santa Rosa with Hurley. 

I told Mr. Tantrum on Tuesday that I want a divorce. I don't love him, and he deserves someone to love him greatly and deeply, and that person is just not me. 

This of course has made everyone I know turn absolutely bat shit crazy and no one is speaking to me. (Which has made my anxiety just lovely...it is the lose 10 pounds in 2 days diet!) My parents won't speak to me, and I can't be sure of who I can trust, because they too are talking with him....empathizing because the "Big Bitch Mrs. Tantrum" is ruining a life of 12 years, and it will harm the child!

Is it worth staying with someone you don't love, who makes you so unhappy about yourself, and has nothing in common with you, in an effort to "save the kid" or is it about being true to yourself and your child and showing them how to be happy and make a life that can be a good one for you and for them? 

11 comments:

Ann(ie) said...

Oh sweetheart....you don't know how badly I want to take you out for a bevvie so you can decompress and vent. :( Email or call me if you need to talk...anytime...I mean it. No judgement here. xo.

Rachel said...

Kids can sense when you're unhappy. Better to have two happy, separated parents than two miserable ones that are stuck together.

Hang in there, lady.

Crazy Sister said...

That's big - that's huge. You must have been thinking about this decision a lot, and what a crummy year it's been for you so far! You must be soooo stressed.

What does Mr Tantrum want? Tell me you've been to counselling together or something, right? I mean, 12 years... unless Antonio Banderas is waiting in the wings, it's worth going slow!

I'm outraged that your nearest and dearest are taking sides and getting petty already. Wish I was there. I'm stressing for you.

Givinya De Elba said...

Oh babe. Forgive us - it's come out of the blue for us Internet Buddies, but perhaps not for you. Where have you been (emotionally) to end here? Email me babe, if you want to. If not, I'll just sit tight and say a prayer for you every time I have a drink from that kickass Starbuck's mug you gave me. And I wear the apron you made every day, I'll use that to help me remember to pray too. (Anna wears it too! Loves it.)

Anonymous said...

Do you need to come visit? Remember we love you no matter what. x Valerie

The Irishman said...

Lots of prayers and love from a long lost friend. Take care, I'll message you with my number if you want a complete outsider to talk to.

Kevin

Anonymous said...

without chaos there is no happiness, right? They go hand in hand....

musingwoman said...

(((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

Parents and loved ones can often through larger "don't change my routine" tantrums, than the affected children themselves, keep in mind. The people around you who are not supporting you in your decision of late are more concerned with their "comfort" than your own, fuck em! Having lived in the land of unhappiness with one of these children and marital problems, it is a much larger dis-service to them to be exposed to mom and dad hating each other, rather than mom and dad have two different houses. Don't let stupid people, get you down!

QuJaBaKa said...

I'm offering an ear (or eyes) from here too. Am totally going through an unbloggable phase too and understand completely.
If you need someone impartial and totally able to keep ones mouth shut (that would be me!) to vent at then feel free to email me.
My heart is with you
K

followthatdog said...

you have to do what is right for you, only by doing that are you doing what is right for your child. To live a miserable life in an effort to protect him is to force him to share your misery.

I can imagine this is a stressful time and if there is anything I can do, just let me know.