It comes as no surprise then that the quickest way to calm him down is to get him in a bath full of lavender scented bubbles. Last night after one of his record breaking meltdowns (he had not had a 30+ minute breakdown in sometime, so seeing one go on past the 40 minute mark made me grab my shrimp fork and start to poke my ear drums out) I decided that since laughing at him didn't work, yelling back the same things didn't work, whispering didn't work and unfortunately that Dog Whisper trick of ts'sting him quiet failed it was bath time.
I got him in the bath tub and his flailing and snotting and screaming stopped cold turkey. Then he started "making me dinner" with the bubbles.
"Momma, here's some buffalo chicken."
"Yummy...oh, no! TOO SPICY!!"
"Okay, here's some chicken feet with the blood." (As if adding with the blood would gross me out or something.)
"Delicious! You should really make that for Nana next time you see her, she would really like the BLOOD."
"Okay, now here's your 'sert," he said handing me a giant mound of bubbles.
"Ooh, what is it?"
"Buffalo horns. They are low in fat and high in FIBER. You need FIBER to help you poop."
"MMMMMM....Crunchy and delicious."
He continued to make me various other "normal" things before he got out of the bath, I am still perplexed where he learned about FIBER, and why he felt compelled to tell me about the importance of it in the bath. I am also wondering why he thinks that you eat the horns of the buffalo, everyone knows you eat the meat. It makes FANTASTIC burgers, and steaks. (That is if you don't puke them up whole from the flu or something while on vacation! But of course I don't know anything about that.)
6 comments:
lol. He should patent the Buffalo Horn dessert. Y'all could make a killing selling it at one of those 5-star restaurants.
I love all the weird crap that comes out of your kid's and my kid's mouths. But I'm too scared to ever let them together. Imagine!
THAT IS HILARIOUS. I love the stuff that comes out of kids' mouths. It's so random!
What a whopper of a tantrum that must have been - you're amazing! Good idea with the bath. And what a fantastic menu!
I can't stop laughing about you ts'sting him like the dog whisperer. LOL
My boy's problem with the bath? I can't get him into it...then 1/2 hour later, I can't get him back out of it! They do love playing in the bath. Must try a "tsht" next time.
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