Thursday, September 11, 2008

Dear Mr. Tantrum,

Dear Mr. Tantrum, 

I appreciate that you were away on business with your BFF for four days while I was home with a lunatic very vivacious Bacon. I am glad that you had FUN while you were away, and I am glad that while you were whacking off too busy doing important business things that you made time to call and grunt noises say hello. 

Next time you return however, I would think that it be wise that you shut your damn pie hole remain mum about the after hours parties you went to, the clubs you checked out, and the tips that your BFF gave you for picking up the ladies. I would also advise that if you bring home a crappy ankle bracelet for your wife, that you tell her that you won it in a vending machine or a raffle and not on the bottom of the icky swimming pool in Las Vegas. 

I know that this sounds mean and jealous, and I will admit that I am jealous. I have never been able to go away with a girlfriend and leave you home to play while under the guise of business. I also have been with you on these business trips, and know that rather than go to the after hours club parties, and other corporate sponsored events that you would rather go back to the hotel room and watch a damn repeat of GHOST BUSTERS. So not only am I jealous, I now think that you are embarrassed of me. 

I am glad you are home in one piece though, now Bacon can scream at you and spit on you for a few days. I will be off picking my nose or ass or something, and making a list of pointers for my girlfriends on how to pick up hot guys. 

Mrs. Tantrum


Givinya De Elba said...

No! That, while being too funny, was sorta sad! Well written though!

Ann(ie) said...

I think we need a bloggy retreat to Vegas, no?

Kaza said...

This? HILARIOUS. Srsly.

Julie N said...

Dang! I LMAO every time I read your posts! You'd think our men would pick up on some of this stuff by now right? :)

Crazy Sister said...

'Ew' to the swimming pool bracelet.

Laurie of the Seven Stories said...

I'm with Annie on this one. I'm calling an er business trip.
I don't know about giving you tips to pick up men though, that wouldn't be being a true a friend.

A true friend would explain to you the value of being away from the men, and not wanting to get nearer to them during that time.

Men can really can be morons. I'm with ya sister.

WM said...

I'm so all over that Vegas thing Annie spoke of it's not even funny.
We'll give our hubbies plenty of notice so they can prepare.

Oh and uh please tell me he didn't give you some skanks bracelet. Yeah maybe not such a good idea Mr. T
But at least he wasn't at work discussing what you wear to bed and how not sexy it is. Yep that would be my hubby yesterday. Damn him.

followthatdog said...

from the bottom of the swimming pool? Ick. that is just bad. really really bad.

Heather said...

Men are stupid. 'Nuf said.