I appreciate that you were away on business with your BFF for four days while I was home with a
lunatic very vivacious Bacon. I am glad that you had FUN while you were away, and I am glad that while you were whacking off too busy doing important business things that you made time to call and grunt noises say hello.
Next time you return however, I would think that it be wise that you
shut your damn pie hole remain mum about the after hours parties you went to, the clubs you checked out, and the tips that your BFF gave you for picking up the ladies. I would also advise that if you bring home a crappy ankle bracelet for your wife, that you tell her that you won it in a vending machine or a raffle and not on the bottom of the icky swimming pool in Las Vegas.
I know that this sounds mean and jealous, and I will admit that I am jealous. I have never been able to go away with a girlfriend and leave you home to play while under the guise of business. I also have been with you on these business trips, and know that rather than go to the after hours club parties, and other corporate sponsored events that you would rather go back to the hotel room and watch a damn repeat of GHOST BUSTERS. So not only am I jealous, I now think that you are embarrassed of me.
I am glad you are home in one piece though, now Bacon can scream at you and spit on you for a few days. I will be off picking my nose or ass or something, and making a list of pointers for my girlfriends on how to pick up hot guys.