Wednesday, June 4, 2008

It's Like Vegas, Except You Can't Get Drunk

We just returned from our overnight trip to Great Wolf. The good news is that Bacon had a delightful time, and LOVES swimming more than "ANYTHING IN THE WORLD MOM!" The bad news is, that place sucks ass and the women who wrote this were obviously high, or drunk or maybe paid to say that it was great.

The room was not cheap, but we figure that they charge $30 a person if you go to the water park if you know someone staying there, so that was $90 of the $220 which made the actual room $130 for the night. Which isn't that bad, if the room had been clean and everything had been working.

If this place was an older resort I would understand stuff being broken, but the hotel opened in March 2008 which was three months ago. The light over the vanity took over 10 minutes to get operating, the television in the "wolf den" or kids room had the power button on front broken off, and the remote was missing. When we called the front desk for help, we were told that they were out of remotes and to turn it off we would have to unplug it. There was also no DO NOT DISTURB sign anywhere to be found.

Oh, and next to the Queen Bed there were a little pile of goldfish crackers on the floor in case we got hungry in the night!

I do give them credit for having a room available when we got there at 1:30 and we were able to check in and go straight to the water park. Bacon had us playing for 4 hours, and never in my life have I seen him that excited/happy/thrilled to be somewhere.

When we realized that his armband (which you have to have on to get anywhere - supposedly, no one ever checked this while we were there - and can also serve as your door key, room charge etc) the front desk gladly replaced it for us. Also, the buffet the staff was very helpful when Bacon wanted to check stuff out, and someone even made sure that he had some "sandwiches" to stuff in mom's purse for the ride home.

The beds were terrible, there were no extra pillows or blankets in the rooms - but we did have 10 million towels! At 10:30pm the fire alarm went off on one of the floors for over 30 minutes before they got it turned off. I know that they have to have the fire department turn it off and inspect to make sure that things are okay, but a phone call to say "Hey, everything is okay, the building is not burning down," would have really eased my already frazzled nerves.

This morning before check out, the boys were in the shower, and I was watching TV when the door started to open. I went to find out what was going on (we still had over an HOUR until checkout) it was a lady from the hotel to inspect the room. She stared at me and then her sheet, and mumbled something about being on the wrong floor. Um, an apology there would have been nice! (Also, had we had that dang DO NOT DISTURB sign this wouldn't have been an issue!)

There is not a lot to do there beside the water park. There is an arcade, which is great if you have older kids. They also have a (really really annoying) magic quest game that you can play (if you purchase a $25 wand that activates any of the 10,987,643 animatronics around the lodge). It was a great game for older kids, but does not fit with the theme of the hotel. Also it SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF MOST OF THE TODDLER SET! They also have the lovely XM Radio (which I am a fan of) piped so LOUD through the lodge that you cannot even read the paper without thinking, "Damn, I was in the 6th grade when this song was popular!" Not a relaxing time.

There is a Starbucks, and the restaurant does feature a TON of kid friendly food. Bacon had Kraft Mac and Cheese for dinner that came with a lemonade and baby carrots and dip for $5. They have a fun appetizer plate with ants on a log, banana "sushi" and more. This is great because the adults can eat adult food, and the kids can eat crappy kid food without any drama!

There is no room service. There is one bar in the pool, but you have to sit in a tiny area to have a $10 frozen drink or beer. (And this bar doesn't have posted hours, so you know whenever they feel like opening it they do, I guess.) I did manage to get a crappy glass of wine with my dinner. There is a ton of junk food, a Pizza Hut Express, and Dippin Dots which cost $4 a pack.

I am glad that we went, and that Bacon had a great time. I am not sure that we will be returning any time soon to this particular location, I do know that I am writing a letter to the management because I cannot be the only one who is not cool with all of this.

I do know too that Bacon is so proud of being a Big Boy that he no longer wants to sleep in my bed, and that alone may have been worth the $500 that I shelled out for all of the "fun" that we had in 24 hours.


witchypoo said...

I'm glad Bacon had a great time, and I hope you got lots of pictures!

*Becky* said...

If I promise that I do not want to ever sleep in your bed will you take me some place? Pretty please? Pretty please??

I'm so glad that Bacon had fun, that is awesome! I thought the goldfish was a wonderful

A Mom Two Boys said...

So...that is NOT a glowing review! Sorry to hear it wasn't such a great time for you, but at least Bacon had fun!

musing said...

It's great that Bacon loves swimming. Such fun!

And did you take a pic of the goldfish crackers? :)

Givinya De Elba said...

Just so long as you didn't bring bed bugs back with you!

Ann(ie) said...

GOOD to know. I was thinking of dragging my little family there, but now I'm gonna rethink it. It's SO new how can they be so lame already????

At least there's snacks by the bed. I enjoy goldfish. ;)

AND at least there's a Starbucks. My priorities are pretty much met. hehe.

carrie said...

I'm sorry you had such an awful experience.

I hope you know that I wasn't paid to write anything or even asked, for that matter. It's like we went to two seperate lodges, really it is.

Bananas said...

Wow, sounds like the service has gone downhill fast, because this is nothing like my experience. I think you should write that letter, for sure. I'm glad to hear that Bacon had a good time, at least!

And no I wasn't drunk, high or paid. (it's always good to make that clear!) But we did go on opening weekend when everyone was on their VERY BEST behavior and the whole place was shiny and new.

I find this all very depressing. Let us know if you hear back from them.