Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Stop Me If You've Heard This One

A mom, a dad and their toddler walk into the front yard...

The sun starts to set and the parents attempt to round up...

Oh, heck who am I kidding? You all have kids. You know that the minute that one of the kids playing has to go inside one of the other ones freaks out like never before. Tonight the one freaking out was my kid. He freaked out so hard he banged his head on the door going in the house, which made him so mad he peed his pants. Which made me laugh hysterically, because I am that kind of mom that laughs hysterically when her kid is freaking out.

Normally if I didn't have a kid like Bacon I probably wouldn't have laughed as hard, but with him it is never just a little upset, it is always Priscilla Queen Of The Desert Drag Queen style freak out. ALWAYS.

He didn't get the right sauce on his hot dog? Drag Queen Freak Out.
He didn't get to go play with his BFF because he has a fever? Drag Queen Freak Out.
You looked at him the wrong way at 10 am, yup, you got it Drag Queen Freak Out.

Now, I have nothing against Drag Queens. I like them. They really are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. The kind of freak out I am talking about are the ones in the movies. The "pretend" ones. (Or the one I am sure you would see if two queens showed up at a party in the same dress. But with less cutting.) I don't know where he gets it. Much less the energy to do it multiple times a day.

Yes, some days it gets to me. Grates at my soul like a bald tire on hot pavement at high speeds. Other times though, I just laugh, because there is nothing that I can do to stop it. (Believe me we've tried.) There is nothing that I can do to change it. (Except pray that there is some cure on the horizon of Asperger's and other forms of Autism.) Honestly though, I don't know what I would do if it was any other way...because it never has been any other way around here.



Brittany said...

Ok, so now I don't feel as bad for what I'm about to blog myself... oh you'll love it (and you might be one of the only people to think it's funny).

musing said...

It's good you can keep a sense of humor about it!

witchypoo said...

Great post! I found what helped Ass Burger Boy transitioning from one activity to another was to give him a simple warning "five minutes" which would tell him he had five minutes to continue then something else would happen. Even if it's not exactly five minutes, the warning is the thing that averts the meltdown.

*Becky* said...

This is my mantra

Special kids are given to special moms. Special kids are given to special moms. Special kids are given to special moms.

I missed the latest grating on a soul like a bald tire on hot pavement at high speed. The husband got that at Kohls last week. The public ones are awesome!

I wouldn't trade J for the world. Our kids are some of the most advanced souls :) Even if they can peel paint off walls during their melt downs.

In the most non-stalker way I have to tell you that I think you rock and it's been hard for me lately at Casa de Lunatics. You blog makes me laugh :)

Givinya De Elba said...

Oh my, sorry about the dragqueenmeltdowns. Nat does something a little similar and it takes the organisation of a Wedding Planner to orchestrate life so that as few meltdowns as possible occur.

("Five Minutes" literally means "five minutes until you start having a tantrum because you hate that you're not the boss.")

He promised me before kindy today that he wouldn't have "lots of tantrums." He promised he would just have "one little tantrum." I am hoping for "no tantrums" but I think that comes when he's older.