Sunday, February 17, 2008

Welcome To My Insanity

We are deep in the trenches of potty training and so far so good....I have been so wrapped up in it all that I forgot to mention that there has been a little drama too with my mom almost dying and all (like twice) last week.

It apparently started some time ago, mom's burning esophagus, but ended with a doctor's visit Tuesday because she woke up with the feeling of an elephant sitting on her chest. They ran blood panels - to check for the usual suspects, ulcer, kidney etc. she has no gallbladder so it isn't that - and sent her home with some Nexium.

At midnight she broke out in a rash and couldn't breathe. They told her to take Benadryl and called in another class of antacid for her. She waited 24 hours went back to work and then took it. That one sent her into anaphlayctic shock and in an ambulance ride to the hospital. Thank GOD she lives like 2 minutes from a really good hospital. Thank GOD that she is in good shape and health, other than this shit...because I hate to think of what it would have been like otherwise.

Now she has an esophageal scope thingy (sorry the medical term is escaping me as I am up to my elbows in potty training and all frantic that there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with my mom.) tomorrow. Fortunately they will be knocking her out to do it, and I am 200 miles away and can't make it there in time to be with her. (And realistically until we know the results what can I do but sit there and worry. At least here I can worry and drink and worry some more.) Dad will be with her the whole time....which is good. I just wish I could be there for him.

The whole thing is freaking me out. Mom had a bad "episode" back before Christmas that they still can't explain. They kept saying she had a heart attack or a stroke, and honestly I nearly lost my mind at the thought of loosing her. Even though this is more than likely nothing "serious" what if it is? How are we going to get her through this?

And I can tell you right now that I definitely would loose my mind if I were to loose her now.

She isn't even 51. She has been my rock through some of the most difficult times of my life, and she has been my best friend as long as I can remember.

So please pray for us all that it is something ridiculous....I will be sitting here silently sobbing certain that the other foot is going to drop at any moment and the whole world is going to fall out from under me, because that is just how my crazy mind works.

I really am praying that it is just a stupid ulcer though, all while trying to keep Toddler tied to the toilet for some more of those GIANT TURDS.

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